Lately, I've been sitting and wondering a lot about how much things have changed, and how visceral certain things have become. I can't live without Damian. I honestly can't. He's just made me a much better person. I smile, I look forward to things. I get shit done. Which is good. He makes me realize that life is a beautiful thing sometimes.
(You can puke now.)
(Ok, stop puking, back to the post.)
I don't know why or how it happened, but I just can't picture my future without him. :/ And I think it's amazing. I sit and wonder why and I want to understand it, but I'm also happy knowing that, poof, it just happened and it's okay and it's awesome.
I think the main reason why I feel so floored by all of this is because he was my friend before anything else happened. And I couldn't picture him any other way. So to be this way now is such a dichotomy for me. Sure, back then my feelings occasionally oscillated into the dangerous "omGIhaveacrushonmybestfriend" territory, but generally I managed to keep them separate and date other people and etc. I marvel and wonder at how the lines have crossed. I just saw him as a friend. And now I turn into a puddle of organic goo when he looks at me.
(Ok, FINE, I'll give you people barf bags *gives*)
I just think it's odd. '.' I don't understand it. Someone please help this poor clinical soul understand. '.'